How to Successfully Manage Your Boss – And Increase Your Chances of Promotion

Two critical skills, which the highest performing managers have in spades, are the ability to influence and persuade. The most obvious targets for your powers of persuasion are your team, and sometimes your peers in different departments; but just as you need to manage down or sideways, it’s also critical you know how to manage upwards.
To help you make the right impression, here are four simple rules to remember, which will move you in the right direction.

1. Find out what the expectations are – and exceed them.

Sounds obvious and simple – yet in my experience it’s neither! Try to answer the following questions

• Do you actually know what your manager’s top priorities are?
• How clear are you about the order of priority your manager has for each area of your performance?
• How clear do you think your manager is about his/her expectations of you?

Sometimes expectations are written – but more often than not, they are unwritten expectations, which your boss may never have really clearly articulated to themselves, let alone you!
Put it this way – if you don’t know for sure what will score you top points with this individual, you may find yourself chasing down the wrong rabbit hole.

And this is NOT about currying favour, or ingratiating yourself. This is about having a clear understanding on both sides about what is important, so you both know and agree where you should focus most of your time and attention. It actually makes your job easier.

So – if you don’t know the answers to the questions above – make a date in your diary to discuss this with your boss! (And before you actually have that meeting, make sure you read technique 4!)

2. Anticipate and address a boss’ concerns

The trick here is a technique from what we call Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and is about being able to see the different “perceptual positions” around an issue. Put simply this means seeing something through someone else’s eyes, so you understand their thoughts, feelings, worries and perspectives. This is more than just being good with soft skill training.

An obvious way is to ask them! And we’d definitely encourage you to fnd the right opportunities to do just that. However, sometimes there’s neither time, nor is it appropriate. So what do you do then? You put yourself in their shoes. And when we say in their shoes – we mean wearing their shoes and looking through their eyes! This is not how you would feel in their shoes. You’re not them!

So, this is easier said than done. But here’s a few killer questions to ask yourself:

• What will my boss be anxious about?
• What do his bosses expect of him?
• How does what I do to help him/her look good?
• If I/we do “x”, what might he/she be concerned about?

By answering these questions you’ll be much clearer about what you need to do to both pre-empt and address their concerns. It also significantly increases their perception you really understand where they are coming from, which in turn significantly strengthens the trust and relationship between you.

3. Consistently look for ways to add value.

This is a really simple rule. Bosses are more likely to listen if you speak in “can-do” language, and you are organised, and sound enthusiastic and eager to deliver results.
Look ahead when discussing a project, rather than dwelling on what’s already occurred.

Follow through on promises. And adopt a “no-excuses” policy. Failing to produce results almost guarantees a boss will doubt your abilities. So, if you haven’t quite achieved what you set out to do – rather than saying what you’ve not been able to do, start with what you have achieved; be specific about what barriers there were, and summarise your plans to get back on track.

Your boss has pressures of his own. Don’t add to them.

4. Know your style – and know their style; and adapt your behaviour to suit their preferences.

A great analogy from relationship expert Shay McConnon is that of the “hot chilli trap”. What is this? It’s when someone assumes that, because they love hot chilli, everyone else does too! Patently, some people do not like hot chilli!

If you’re in a foreign country you at least attempt to learn “please” and “thank you” in their language and show respect for their customs. It’s just courtesy. You adapt your own behaviour to show respect for the differences of perception.

To assume, because we speak the same language, we see things in the same way – is quite clearly erroneous, yet we still persist in believing the mantra “treat others as you’d like to be treated.”

Absolutely not! Treat others as they would like to be treated.
So what does this mean for you in your relationship with your boss? It means the more you get to understand their style and preferences, and tweak your style to match, the more likely they are to warm towards you. If you lean towards an eye for detail and precision, but your boss just wants the big picture – give it that way. What is their biggest strength? Capitalise on it. What is their central goal? How can you assist? If they are extroverts who like to talk through ideas, provide that opportunity. If they are introverts who like to be able to read through something, and ponder it first, present your proposals in a way which will help them assimilate the information and ask questions.

Respect how they like to be treated.

And what if they don’t show the same respect for you? Well, that is a subject for another article!

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For more information to help you with the people side of management,
including how to improve employee motivation and get the best out of your team, take a look at these great resources:

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How to Handle a Difficult Boss

How to Deal with Difficult Bosses

In the last article I wrote, entitled “How to Successfully Manage your Boss”, I gave four simple rules to help you build a good relationship with someone who could prove to be critical to both your job satisfaction, and your career prospects. A key element of managing that relationship was about respect – respect for differences in style, and respect for our diverse skills and opinions.

At the end of the article I touched on the fact that sometimes, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves working with a difficult boss whose behaviour makes respect disappear out of the window.

If you’ve ever worked for someone who made your life a misery; who didn’t understand you; who seemed to give no recognition of the work you put in, or who undermined you or bullied or intimidated you, I should imagine you’d probably find, not just you, but a whole team working at sub-optimal level.

As a coach, I know this means you’ll do just what you need to to keep out of trouble – and no more. And your eye is on the exit.

For most managers, managing poor performance of their team may be easier than dealing with a difficult boss. So how do you manage the “nightmare” boss? Here are four key tips to help you navigate this tricky situation.

Four Key Tips to Manage a Difficult Boss

1. If your boss is behaving badly, stay calm, step back and consider the following questions:

Has this behaviour happened before? The first two times are probably chance, but according to Brad McRae, author of “Negotiation and Influencing Skills by the third it’s probably a pattern.

Is your boss under a lot of pressure? Stress may be causing this adverse behaviour.

Is this behaviour just with you, or with others too? (If it’s just with you, perhaps you need to consider honing your rapport building techniques.)

Have you been under a lot of pressure? Stress on you may be causing you to see the world in a way you wouldn’t normally, under more relaxed circumstances.

Have you had an adult to adult conversation with this person? Sometimes people don’t realise their behaviour is a problem for you, and talking to them can clear up what turns out to be a simple misunderstanding. Don’t avoid doing this. Whilst it may make you feel uncomfortable, long term avoidance leads to situations not only continuing, but often getting worse.

Worst case scenario? Try mediation. Try speaking to Human Resources or another, more senior member member of staff.

2. Dealing with an angry boss:

If your boss gets angry regularly – don’t even try to join in. Let him/her get angry; have the tantrum. You maintain the adult, higher ground.

The trick is to make yourself scarce until it blows over. Say: “I’m sorry you’re so cross about this, but the only way to solve this is rationally. I’m going to leave now, and I can come back later when we’ve both had time to think this through.”

Then leave. No matter what they say, tell them you want to leave it for now, until there’s been time to reflect. Stay cool, and deal with the issue on your terms.

And when you do eventually speak, stay clear of accusations, or blame, and focus on using the word “we”. “We” shares the responsibility (even if not for the incident, for how you are going to resolve it) and doesn’t look like you are apportioning blame or being condemnatory. “We”, does nothing to inflame the situation.

3. Acknowledge emotions – but never get into an emotional argument.

There are always two important factors in any conflict: the facts over which you disagree, and the emotions each individual feels about the situation.

You may feel like telling your boss he’s a rude pig, a bully (and they may well be), or to “stick their job where the sun don’t shine” - and that may give you momentary satisfaction too; but you’ll regret it. The moment you lose the plot – you’ve lost.

If you can see they are angry or upset – acknowledge that, but lead them back to thinking in rational, adult mode, rather than tantrum child mode. And if you’re feeling frustrated, angry, upset, or any other strong emotion, tell them, but explain which behaviour of theirs is causing you to feel like this. Focus on the behaviour you want to change, not the person themselves. The minute you use language which starts with “You”, you’re into accusatory mode, and they’ll just get defensive; which leads nowhere.

4. If all else fails – leave.

Sometimes it’s clear it’s just never going to work for you. Life’s too short to spend what is a third or more of your life feeling miserable, de-motivated, and unable to utilise your talents. If you are good at what you do, bale out and find another job. But do it on your own terms, in your own time and at your own pace. And while you’re searching for the exit, keep your head down, and your counsel to yourself.

You can probably take comfort from the fact that, if this isn’t a case of an individual personality clash, your boss’s behaviour will be noticed elsewhere – and team performance is likely to be suffering. Those above will notice - and at some point, your boss may get his “come-uppance.”

But that’s not your problem at this stage. You just take control and find somewhere your talent and skill is utilised and appreciated.

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For more information to help you with the people side of management,
including how to improve employee motivation and get the best out of your team, take a look at these great resources:

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Managing Poor Performance and Bad Attitudes

As a manager, you know getting all of your employees to perform at the top of their game isn’t easy to do at the best of times. When you’re faced with bad attitudes and poor performance, your job just gets tougher. Trouble is, one disengaged employee can do more than just annoy those around them; they can cause friction, frustration, resentment and low morale, which pulls down overall team performance.

Left untackled, managing employee performance can take up masses of your time and energy, leaving you struggling to juggle all the other important aspects of your role. I’ve coached a number of managers in recent years who risk losing their own sense of enthusiasm, and are neglecting the forward thinking which is a must for successful teams and in organizational performance management, because they get bogged down dealing with tricky situations and resolving problems.

So, how can you turn things around so everyone is pulling their weight and focused on generating results for shared goals?

It takes two to tango! Before you tackle your staff – take a look in the mirror!
How do you currently deal with your poor performers or those with difficult attitudes?

Managing Poor Performance - Whose Fault is It?

In all my experience working with the human side of performance, poor performance or “bad” attitude issues are rarely the fault of one individual. In fact – any concept of “fault” or “blame” is generally very unhelpful when you want to resolve a situation like this. Before even starting to consider how you might deal with the situation, you need to take an objective look at yourself, at how you manage, and the way you respond to issues of organizational performance management, underperformance or difficult behaviour in your staff.

There are five common responses managers display when managing employee performance, which can either help create a poor attitude, or exacerbate an existing one. The trick is to recognise when we are falling into these traps, so we can take steps to avoid them.

Do you recognise yourself in any of these?

Managing Poor Performance - Five Traps to Avoid

TRAP ONE: Turning a blind eye

You’re picking up the signs that all is not well, but you hope the problem will go away. You tell yourself this is a “one-off”, and that this team/employee is normally very hardworking and enthusiastic, so it must be a temporary “blip”. You decide to “leave well alone”; you’re really busy right now anyway, and feel uncomfortable and reluctant to spend time dealing with this.

Result?
Performance problems tend to build up. If it’s an individual, there’s a strong possibility others in the team will have noticed, which might affect morale or your own credibility as a manager. If it’s a number of people in a team, it’s less likely to be a unique issue and more likely to be related to something going on in the workplace which is affecting motivation. In which case – you need to know, don’t you?

Solution:
Get into the habit of recognising signs of disengagement or problem performance early on.
Ask yourself, “How often do I touch base with this individual or team? What essential management skills should I develop? How can I foster an environment where people feel they can be open about their work?”
Nip things in the bud! If it is a temporary blip, isn’t it better that you know? And approached appropriately, you will leave the individual feeling you cared enough to notice, to ask and to offer support!

The moment you notice employee performance slipping – take the bull by the horns, express your concern as specifically as you can (vague comments are totally unhelpful!), and once you’ve said what behaviour or attitudes are concerning you – shut up and listen! The more you show you are willing to listen and understand, the easier it will be to work towards a solution which leaves everyone feeling positive.

TRAP TWO: Shifting the problem!

Have you ever been guilty of seeing if you can pass the problem on to someone else? Perhaps you find a way of transferring the individual to another team, or giving them “special projects” where the concerning poor performance issue is less likely to arise.

Result:
Whilst this can resolve the situation temporarily, you’re storing up a whole host of problems for later on! The team you’ve transferred the individual to, for example, may not thank you! And what sort of hidden message are you sending the rest of your team if they feel someone is being given special treatment despite poor performance, or displaying a poor attitude? Most importantly, the individual will blithely continue unchanged, and unaware there is even an issue!

Solution:
Remember how it felt when this either happened to you, or you saw it happen to others in the past. Tackle the issue, by taking time out to talk to the individual. As with the first solution, be clear about what you see is the issue, then listen. And ensure you both agree on what steps can be taken to improve the situation before you end the conversation.

TRAP THREE: Playing Mr. Nice Guy

Are you good at listening – and pride yourself on being a real “people person”. Do you spend time and effort trying various solutions and offering support and development to staff? Does conflict make you feel a little uneasy and uncomfortable?

Result:
Whilst a key role of any manager is to support, encourage and develop his team, sometimes this just isn’t enough, and more may be needed. Adults can sometimes be a little like children! If you don’t set clear expectations and boundaries and stick to them, there will always be some who will use this to manipulate or take advantage.

Solution:
You don’t have to ditch your Mr Nice Guy approach entirely – just combine it with a challenging development plan which will facilitate change and improvement! This is where your coaching skills can really come into their own – and where time spent cultivating a good relationship with your people can really pay dividends.

TRAP FOUR: Delegating the problem

Are you tempted to hand this over to HR or someone higher up? Sometimes this may be necessary – but almost always as a last resort, when other tactics have failed. And handing it to a colleague who you feel might be sympathetic or who is a good friend, isn’t a good idea either.

Result:
How do you think this will be perceived:
By the individual?
By the rest of the team?
By the colleague you asked for help?
By HR or your line manager?
Do I need to say more?

Solution:
Consider what tactics, if any, you have used so far in order to deal with this problem. Is this a persistent issue you’ve already tried to deal with, or a relatively recent issue? Come up with a performance management plan and clear idea of your desired outcome and timeline for seeing improvement.

Who do you know who might help you think this through? Has anyone else ever dealt with strategic management issues successfully? What can you do differently to help this individual address the issue?

Once you’ve thought this through and come up with a plan – take the necessary action!

If you’re really at the stage where you have genuinely tried a number of strategic performance management methods addressing this issue, and it simply won’t go away, then yes – it may be appropriate to delegate to someone else. But make sure you provide sufficient support, coaching and guidance through the next stages as you can.

TRAP FIVE: Taking the part of judge and jury.

We all do it – making snap judgements about people, or jumping to conclusions. Sometimes we are guilty of labelling others in a way which places them into almost extreme stereotypes. If you’ve already mentally labelled someone as a “good” or “bad” performer, this can be really unhelpful and block the opportunity for you to really get to the bottom of the performance issue.

Are your own judgements (or even worse, those of others) about this individual, or team, colouring your ability to take an objective view of the situation?

Result:
The biggest problem with this trap is it focuses on the individual’s perceived personality, rather than their actual behavior. And when you start getting personal, you’re on a back foot straight away!

Has anyone ever accused you of being “lazy”, “silly”, “arrogant”, “weak”, “bad” ……..you get the picture!
How did you respond?

In my experience, the minute anything feels like a personal attack, your barriers go up, and you start to defend yourself. Any hope of constructive discussion is blocked.

Solution:
I know it’s hard! As a coach, putting aside my own preconceptions and beliefs when I’m working with an individual, is one of the most difficult things to do – but it must be done!

One technique which helps here is a technique from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) which is called “perceptual positions”. This offers a framework for seeing the issue from three different perspectives, and helps alleviate a knee-jerk reaction on your part. How do you do this?

First perspective: State the problem as you see it. Get clear – get specific. What exactly is the individual or team behaviour which is of concern to you, and, more importantly, what are the consequences of that? What is your desired outcome in terms of behaviour?

Second perspective: How do you think the individual/team members concerned might see it? What’s going on in their heads? Imagine them in front of you, and you’ve asked them if there’s a problem. What do you think they might say? (And the more of a blank you are at this stage, the clearer it becomes you need to find out!)

Third perspective: How would an outsider see it? Who do you know, who is not involved or doesn’t know the individuals concerned, who might give you their take on the situation? Sometimes, that “fly on the wall” view can bring a whole new perspective to the situation, which can at least ensure you don’t go wading in to a situation half cock, and encourage a willingness to listen first!

So now you know the traps to avoid when managing poor employee performance, do you recognise yourself in any of these? If your honest answer is “no”, then you’re ready to move to the next stage of dealing with the problem. Sometimes we “default” to a particular “type”. Taking time out to understand our own reactions and ways of managing poor performance can be the first step in sorting out the problem, and is certainly time well spent.

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For more information to help you with the people side of management,
including how to improve employee motivation and get the best out of your team, take a look at these great resources:

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Are We Undervaluing Essential Management Skills?

My colleagues and I spend a lot of time coaching and providing management skill training, either one-on-one or in workshops, in a variety of public and private organizations, across all types of industries, and there are some issues which come up over and over again. Our experiences, and recent, large-scale studies show:

• Over 70% of people leave jobs because of relationship issues, and most of those are with their immediate supervisor.
• Managers typically lose 25% of their day to unnecessary conflict, argument and misunderstanding.
• Two thirds of staff feel undervalued at work.
• Managers are one of the greatest sources of stress at work.

What does this actually mean for you and your organization?

Essential Management Skills - Why are They Important?

In a company of 100 managers, and an average salary of £40,000 per annum per manager, then the issues above can cost the company as much as £1,000,000 per annum – and that’s not counting the higher staff turnover costs, missed opportunities, absenteeism, low morale and poor teamwork!

And, for the manager themselves, they lose confidence, feel frustrated, and risk their reputation.

Somewhere, in the midst of this concern for developing management skills, continuous employee performance review, are we neglecting the need to ensure managers know how to manage?

You see, we believe leadership is about “looking out”. It’s about market awareness, about vision, and about strategy. Its vital for the organisation – but do we need every manager to focus on and prioritise leadership skills? Management is about “looking in”. It’s about managing the resources you have to best effect, in order to hit the targets set by the vision.

And the most important and expensive resource you have as a manager is your people. The manager who gets his/her people management right, will improve the bottom line for their company, as well as their own credibility.

Improving Management Skills

The 80 – 20 rule?

In our opinion, an organisation encouraging managers to focus on leadership is taking too many eyes off delivery – too much of the time. For very senior managers, MD and CEO level, spending 80% of the time on “looking out” is not only sensible, it is critical.

But for managers, perhaps the focus should be reversed? Managers should focus 80% of their time on “looking in” – on management skill training, on customer satisfaction, on delivery, and on engaging and motivating their staff so they are solution focused, productive and, dare I say it, happy.

And this is not fluffy bunny land! Happy staff – are engaged staff. Engaged staff are more productive, more willing, more open to change, more creative, more focused, more reliable and more flexible.

It’s my bet you have managers in your organisation who consistently produce exceptional results. You’ll also have those whose teams seem to consistently underperform, who take up HR time because of conflict situations, and where performance surveys consistently reveal dissatisfaction, both internally and externally with customers.

Perhaps we should redress the balance a little? Perhaps we should be ensuring we are adequately equipping our managers with the techniques, the tools and the tactics to ensure they really understand essential and important management skills and on how to get the best out of people; how to not just manage conflict, but pre-empt it, how to develop and coach others to greater performance, and how to encourage their staff to become involved, committed and enthusiastic about the hours they spend in the office or in their role.

A 10% increase in staff engagement will rocket your results – and the beauty of it is, it’s an almost infinite resource. No other resource you have has as much potential to help you achieve better results. Ensuring managers know how to tap it is the key to releasing this extra potential.

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For more information to help you with the people side of management,
including how to improve employee motivation and get the best out of your team, take a look at these great resources:

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